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Post by Basketlady on Oct 24, 2010 9:55:08 GMT -5
In my foolishness, I decided to get my flu shot and booster pneumonia shot on Thursday. I was lured by the siren call of "No waiting!" "We can take you now!" It seemed like a good idea at the time. But oh my heavens! What a big mistake! We have this HUGE convention for our squadron this week up in Vermont. And I'm in charge of the spouses. And I just laid on the couch all day Friday and Saturday. Fever, arm huge and swollen, hot to the touch and sore. All my joints ached and I had the mother of all headaches. Looked it up online (Dr. Google!) and yep, side effects of the pneumonia shot. And only 1% of victims get those side effects. Lucky me! (But I do feel much better today!) Ok, I'm done whining. But here's my dilemma: my gown for Monday night is sleeveless. And I have this ugly arm that a shawl isn't going to hide. It's still a bit swollen, but mostly it's mottled and discolored. I'm very fair skinned and it's ugly! I do have another sleeved long gown that I can wear, but I think it's really outdated. Sort of Dynasty/Knotts Landing ish if you ask me. But it's velvet, so it would be warm. And it would hide this arm! So what would you do? Go with the pretty modern dress and flash that ugly arm or go with the frumpy velvet dress and cover it up? And yes, people will notice me. DH is the commander and we have hard entrances and an hour of cocktails before that. I'm not sure I want to answer all the questions. (But I could get really creative and say that DH didn't like the dinner the other night.  ) And no, finding a new dress isn't an option. DH is already up there and I have to shuttle the kids around today. The mall is a half hour from here and we don't have the budget for a new dress anyway! Plus all the formal attire out now is strapless or spaghetti strapped. I want to be more covered up than that! Michelle |
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 24, 2010 10:18:45 GMT -5
I took some pictures. The dresses are black, so they didn't show up well. But you get an idea. The long sleeved dress has a velvet beaded jacket a sheath dress under it. The sleeveless dress has a beaded velvet empire bodice with a silk chiffon skirt.   Thanks for the help! Michelle |
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Post by Susan on Oct 24, 2010 10:43:08 GMT -5
Michelle the pix are hard to tell from, but couldn't you take the jacket from the "old" one and put it with the "modern" one?  Or is that too much?!?!??! Personally - I say wear the one you'll be comfortable in. If you are going to be uncomfortable showing your arms, then cover them up! Who cares what the dress' style is, etc, or what Dynasty character you most resemble - wear it! {just don't wear your hair like Linda Evans and you'll be fine} BUT - if you love the modern dress and you're only worried about what people will say - by all means wear the newer one. If people have the gall to be worried about what your arm looks like - gosh - you don't need to worry about them. Between genetic, environment, illnesses, etc. there could be LOTS of reasons for a less than perfect looking patch of skin. I'm wiling to be you no one would ask. HOWEVER you could bring it up if you felt someone looking..."I don't know if you know this - but I'm kindof a big deal!!! I'm one of the 1% who are adversely effected my pneumonia shots!" HAH!!! And like my mom always said - if you don't want them looking at your dress - keep a smile on your face and wear BLING!!!!  |
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 24, 2010 11:11:53 GMT -5
Susan, you are right. That is what my friend Lynne keeps telling me. Wear what's comfortable. People are only going to care that you are friendly. That's what she has told me for a month as I've looked for a new dress because I thought I should go a bit fancier than these are. But everything that I liked was hundreds of dollars and not in the budget. So I'm back to shopping in my closet and now with an ugly arm! I know I'm going to feel self conscious with this arm. It really is noticible. Some will say something, I'm sure. And honestly, I would rather seem approachable than someone that you wouldn't say anything to. But everyone will know who I am. The squadron is the only ones staying at this hotel and I will be formally introduced within the first hour. (Thankfully that outfit will work!) The jacket is what I think is dated. I just looked and it has shoulder pads. Maybe if I took those out, it would look better. And I don't think the fabrics would work together to use the jacket with the sleeveless dress. I've worn a beaded sweater with the sleeveless dress and just taken it off for the cocktail hour and the hard entrances/exits. I know it's a dumb thing for a 40 year old woman to worry about. I feel like I'm in jr high again! I do know one thing--I'm hitting the clearance racks in January and finding a sleeved dress! And NO, I do not feel special! I missed Bunco on Friday night because I couldn't pull myself off the couch!  Thanks! Michelle |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2010 11:22:44 GMT -5
Michelle...DO wear what's comfortable! The only people who might look at you critically aren't people who matter, anyway!
And my grandson is in that 1% with you...he had every one of your symptoms last year.
(We don't get flu shots in this family, no matter what...my DH still uses a cane and has poor coordination in his fingers 11 years after coming down with Guillain-Barre Syndrome as the result of a flu shot).
Just go to the event and wow everyone with your winning smile!
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 24, 2010 11:32:40 GMT -5
Thanks Dawn! I do get my flu shot yearly. I have diabetes and DS has a heart condition. We have always been ok, but it makes me nervous. Esp with a child with autism (although I think that link has pretty much been disproven.) I really think it was the pneumonia shot--at least from what I read online. I need to stop goofing off here and get my stuff done. It's almost time to go get DS and I have nothing done!  Michelle |
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Post by Cat on Oct 24, 2010 12:09:58 GMT -5
Michelle, I understand your dilemma, my arm had a hen egg size knot, fever, red and it hurt. Now it's red, yellow, and green. I'm with everyone else wear what you like. People will always have something to say no matter what choices you make. I rarely wear makeup because negative reactions my skin has to it. Yes, I've tried all kinds and I've heard it all. (I can't believe a grown women goes out like THAT. You'd think I was running around naked the way they act.) Ask your husband which dress "he" likes on you best an wear that one; knowing your are pleasing the one person in the room that really counts.  Cat |
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Post by AnnaMatrix on Oct 24, 2010 12:56:10 GMT -5
Gosh, Michelle, what a bummer!  Have you tried ice packs and antihistamines to help the swelling??? I'd say, wear the more modern dress (sounds like this is the one you'd prefer to wear). If you have a shawl, or large, pretty scarf that would go, drape it over your shoulders, then bring the ends under your armpits to your back and tie. This will hold it in place. Or try a scarf wrapped around your neck and one shoulder then pinned in place with a beautiful brooch so it covers the "ugly arm." Maybe some makeup over the discoloration?? Whatever you do, don't act like it bothers you. If you think someone will ask, think up an answer ahead of time. You can be funny or snarky (I'm guessing you don't want to be the latter, given the situation, but honestly, it would be RUDE  for someone to bring it up!) Maybe something like: "My arm had a disagreement with a pneumonia shot, and the shot won."? If you can laugh it off, others will, too! ;D Good luck, and go get 'em girl!!  Hugs, Gail |
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 24, 2010 17:29:49 GMT -5
Thanks for all of your help, Divas. I truly appreciate it and have gone from my "woe is me" state of mind to just not really caring anymore! Cat, that's a good idea. I'll model the dresses tomorrow night and have DH and DD pick one. That way, I only have to torture myself once wrestling into my Spanx! *shudder* Gail, I didn't try the antihistamines, but did ice it. The swelling is down quite a bit, but it's all blotchy--red and white. It's so stinking obvious, I would ask someone what they did, thinking it would be a good story. Because what else do you have to chat about with the boss' wife during cocktails?? But so far, no bruising. Now THAT is unusual for me and should have been my first excuse to delay the shot! But that lure of no line sucked me in. I was asking for my changes to my care and wanted to show what a good, compliant patient I was!  Dumb!  And you are right, I can't be snarky. It's definitely not the right situation! Darn it, because that would be fun! I still don't know what I'm going to do. DH is already there and said that it's "charmingly rustic." If that translates into moose walking the street, ok. If it means it's freaking cold there, I'm going with sleeves! Off to pick the kids up from CCD. I feel like I've done nothing but drive a taxi all day! (and whine here.  ) Play practice, scouts, church... I need a nap! But I'm feeling so much better. I was seriously worried yesterday morning. I HAVE to be at this dinner tomorrow night. But at least I'm feeling like myself again. It's a big thing for me to miss Bunko and I'm BUMMED!  Michelle |
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Post by Cat on Oct 24, 2010 18:05:29 GMT -5
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Post by northerncrafter9 on Oct 24, 2010 18:28:43 GMT -5
Michelle, I can definitely understand wanting to hide your arm. I have a chemo port in my arm that is not the most attractive and well I have very little hair. I can definitely get dressed faster which is a big benefit but sometimes wish I looked more normal and could blend in more. It was quite hot here this summer and hats just added to that so I went out with short sleeves and no hat. I felt comfortable and let people deal with it. Wear the dress that makes you feel the most comfortable. Show your arm and hold your head up if you want to wear the sleeveless or wear the older dress and cover your arm. Many people are dealing with something they don't want to be evident or obvious. Your personality will shine through regardless if your arm is showing or not. Some people might find you more approachable because you decided to show your arm and are still out enjoying yourself regardless. My two cents... |
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Post by northerncrafter9 on Oct 24, 2010 18:32:36 GMT -5
Hey being crafty can make a older dress better.... add a homemade felt flower pin etc. I know you can make it work for you.
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 24, 2010 18:52:56 GMT -5
Dawn, I didn't know that about you. I hope things are going well. And that certainly puts things into perspective. And I won't be the best dressed or worst dressed in the room. It's a huge awards dinner for recruiting and it's a big night. Last year, most of the women got their hair and make up done at the spa on site. My job is to just be supportive and smile. And I can do that looking like Linda Evans if I have to!  Michelle |
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Post by Cat on Oct 24, 2010 20:16:22 GMT -5
Dawn, I didn't know either...I'm sending my thoughts and prayers your way! I pray you are on your way to a full recovery. Dawn, I admire your strength and beauty. While I understand how it feels to want to "fit in" and I do believe we all have our crosses to bare.... But there is something important we all need to remember it's what's inside that counts..... and Dawn you are beautiful. Michelle you are a sweet, kind, helpful, strong, caring, and creative person and that's all that counts. Your personally will out shine anything you wear. Cat |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2010 21:47:17 GMT -5
And I can do that looking like Linda Evans if I have to! Michelle Michelle... I spent an entire morning in the same restaurant with Linda Evans. Trust me...you don't look anything like her, and you can count your many blessings for that! (Amazing what a camera can do for a person!) |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2010 21:55:42 GMT -5
I can definitely get dressed faster which is a big benefit but sometimes wish I looked more normal and could blend in more. My two cents... Dawn...I stand in awe of your attitude under such undesirable circumstances, and the fact that you have continued to participate on the MB! Your opinion is worth WAY more than 2 cents!!! Diane/casunflower |
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Post by AnnaMatrix on Oct 25, 2010 13:50:17 GMT -5
Dawn, I was in the dark, too! Gail |
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Post by lovesqk on Oct 25, 2010 15:49:21 GMT -5
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Post by northerncrafter9 on Oct 25, 2010 17:38:09 GMT -5
Thank you Ladies. Hugs back. I am hanging in there! You all are the best. Michelle, Which dress did you wear? |
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Post by susie on Oct 26, 2010 19:09:14 GMT -5
Dawn, I had no idea & I am so very sorry but hope the chemo port is doing its good work. How are you doing? It is life issues like these that remind us what is really important. You seem to understand that so well. blessings, susie |
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Post by susie on Oct 26, 2010 19:13:03 GMT -5
Michelle,
How are you feeling and is your arm back to normal? I hope you had a fun time at the event with your hubby? What dress did you end up wearing?
smiles,
susie
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 27, 2010 20:15:59 GMT -5
I just want to say that you guys are the best ever! I felt like I had 20 of my sisters talking me down "off the ledge." Thank you so much for all of your encouraging words. And Dawn, thank you for sharing your story with us. If you feel comfortable sharing, please do so. I can't believe you are going through all that and not a word, while I'm whining about a bump on my arm. You really did put things into perspective for me. I did come up with a great idea--self tanning lotion. I put on one application (after I had finally thought of using it!) and it helped a bit, esp since my arm was mottled white and red. It looked like it had been slapped. Very weird! I wish I had thought of the self tanner sooner--black isn't really my color, but it's what evening wear comes in. But in the end, I wore the long sleeved dress. When we were doing the protocol review, it was freezing in there and someone told me they were "prechilling" the room because everyone had mess dress on and got quite warm. Well, everyone but the civilian wives! Honestly, that made the decison a snap. And even with the velvet jacket, I was still cold. But it really was a lovely evening. All the DVs made it in on time and it all went smoothly. It was an incredible ceremony and very moving. Two Gold Badges were awarded to our squadron (top award in the AF) and there were 2 wing level awards given out. The entire event went really well. The spouses met with the inn's chef on Tuesday morning and he taught us how some of the dishes were made at the inn. Then a group of the spouses went up to Ben and Jerry's factory, to a cider mill, and then looking for covered bridges. It was a gorgeous fall day in northern Vermont. Sunny and there were still some leaves on the trees, especially in the lower elevations. And I got The Boy back on time this morning so that he met the attendance requirements to play in his football game. Best of all, they scored 4 touchdowns and won the game--their first win of the season. Again, thank you for all of your support. I was darned grateful that I had that long sleeved dress to pull on! Michelle |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2010 20:25:00 GMT -5
It was so nice to read that the weekend went well for you! I hope you had the opportunity to take lots of pictures of that New England autumn that all of the rest of us long for...between the bites of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, of course! |
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Post by northerncrafter9 on Oct 28, 2010 0:59:55 GMT -5
Michelle.
I am so glad to hear your night turned out well. I do hope your arm is feeling much better soon.
I hope I didn't make you feel like you were upset about a small matter. That was not my intent.
Dawn
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 28, 2010 6:12:47 GMT -5
No Dawn, not at all. But it was a small matter. And the arm is just fine now. I was just feeling panicky packing for the big event. There is so many names to remember, the protocol to keep straight, so much small talk... I'm "on" the entire time. But the event went well and I don't think I said anything stupid. Whew! Michelle |
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Post by lovesqk on Oct 28, 2010 14:08:29 GMT -5
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Post by AnnaMatrix on Oct 28, 2010 14:50:00 GMT -5
Michelle, I knew you'd be great! A cider mill- so much fun! I really miss fresh pressed cider - it tastes just like apples and sunshine. And Ben and Jerry's - what temptation!  Glad you had a good time. You know we divas are behind each other, all the way. Dawn, we're here for you sweetie if you need us! Gail |
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Post by Basketlady on Oct 28, 2010 17:36:37 GMT -5
I had a taste of the new Cookies and Milk flavor and of each of the kids' ice Phish Food. Triple yum! And I never drink my carbs, but I did have a taste of the cider, right as it came out of the press. Just like you said--apples and sunshine and all on a beautiful Vermont fall day.
Michelle
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Post by northerncrafter9 on Oct 28, 2010 17:40:42 GMT -5
Gail, What a sweet thing to say! Thank you. Michelle, Vermont sounds just lovely. Would love to get up there someday and check it out for myself. |
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Or is that too much?!?!??!
Have you tried ice packs and antihistamines to help the swelling???
Dumb! 
) Play practice, scouts, church... I need a nap! But I'm feeling so much better. I was seriously worried yesterday morning. I HAVE to be at this dinner tomorrow night. But at least I'm feeling like myself again. It's a big thing for me to miss Bunko and I'm BUMMED! 
