To Share or Not To Share...

[Basketlady]

That is the question! For those of you who scrap with friends/family, do you share your paper with them?

Ok, I know I have a TON of paper! But I have plans for all of it--really! My DD is almost 12 and loves to craft. And she does use her supplies. But now she's asking to have her papers/cardstock restocked. And I'm torn between getting her more of her own paper and just letting her dig into my stash.

The problem? Well, what if she uses some paper that I'm saving? That I need? Ok, I have too much paper and I really could share. But here's the real problem--I have a lot of papers that match each other or match embellies and I've sorted them separately. (I don't keep them together as a kit.)

I've thought about telling her that she can use my stuff, but that she needs to ask first. But then what if I'm busy? She's down there a lot of the time when I'm making dinner. And when her friends come over, that's the first place they go. I know that for the most part, DD would ask, but a lot of her friends just don't have limits.

So I just wanted to know, what do you do? How do you share? I feel like I'm 6 years old and I have to share my Barbies!

[Susan]

I hear ya Michelle!!! {ask MB - I'm sure she'd tell you about my "go ahead and use anything you want...but NOT that one, oh and NOT that one either!" comments when she was here with me last fall - LOL!!!!!}

As far as kids in my stash - they know they have free reign over the tower of black drawers that sit behind me. They are technically my "scrap drawers" but for the last 5-6 months I go through my regular paper stash pretty regularly and add full sheets to those drawers too.

Otherwise - it might be a great lesson for her in "scrappy economics" to get her a $20 gift card to Michaels or Hobby Lobby and let her spend it. Then tell her about watching for the cardstock sales at HL or the paper sales at Michaels. Granted neither of those stores carry the latest-and-greatest like Dani does, but I'm guessing she'd be thrilled to have a chance to pick and shop and choose on her own.

Just be careful - she might not share with you!!!

So maybe do a little purging this week and "refreshen" her supply of product. I think "upcycling" is the term! She might just like it!!

[AnnaMatrix]

Michelle, unless Keith takes up scrapping, it's doubtful I'll ever face this problem... But, what about setting aside your very favorite stash, and then letting her "shop" in the not-so-favorite stuff? That way, she'd still have a choice, but you could hang on to your treasures. Just a thought. Gail

[vicki7]

I know exactly how you feel. When my daughter comes over to scrapbook she knows I'll share most stuff but there are certain things that I won't, you know special things like all my disney stuff, lol. If she was younger and still in the house, I'd periodically go through my stuff to replenish her stash cause I have a ton of paper too and could let some of it go. I'd take her shopping every once in awhile so she could pick out stuff herself but I'd definately look for sales and use coupons. And I still do this with my daughter, lol. I can't tell you how much her New York scrapbook is costing me, lol. I think it's so neat that she is interested in this as well as her friends.
Vicki

[luv2scrap]

Hi Michelle, I scrap with a number of friends. When I shop I am usually buying items on sale for my friends and they do the same for me. We know what each other likes and are close enough to know events, holidays and interests to include. We all hate to miss getting to a deal or unadvertised clearance so that is a big part of why we buy for each other. I also have a ton of paper as I have a paper and card stock addiction. If I buy paper or card stock for a specific purpose/project/event or it is really expensive it goes on my rack of paper and things that I don't share. I have seen myself get excited over someones project and dig into my stash, it is not that sacred. That is how I solve this issue and my friends do the same thing. Maybe you need an okay or off limits area in your crafting area?

[Deleted]

I don't have this problem, either (DDs are adults, and I have very young grandSONS). However, I agree with Susan and Gail...identify what's available for anyone, and have a clear definition of what's off-limits/must ask first.

No one (other than myself) uses my dies or tools, either...I've heard too many nightmare stories about damage. But I'm happy to cut items for anyone.

I gather, and then give accumulations of full and scrap pieces of paper, embellies that I will never use up, etc. to a friend who is a kindergarten teacher in an economically depressed district. Otherwise, my house would be filled to overflowing (there's always that new paper that I just know that I'll need someday!)

[crazy4pink]

I will chime in here too, but will be saying the same as everyone else.

I have a huge amount of paper. It is in a paper stack cubical filled to the brim. Most of it was purchased on a whim but some was intended for a particular purpose. Whatever that purpose was has been forgotten so it ends up in the pile. The cubical is fair game for Daughter and friends to use. The papers that I do not want to share are kept in a plastic 12x12 Iris box and off limits to them.

I let them use all the embellishes, ribbons, stickers, etc. If they use up what I have then I just get to buy more

I completely understand this dilemma. My LSS closed about 6 months ago and now the GOOD Bazzill is no where to be found. I purchased a ton of it when she had it on sale but the stash is dwindling. I have let the girls use whatever they wanted but now feel I need to hold back on them because I cannot simply get more. I am a brand snob so it is hard for me to try something different. I will be starting a Cardstock bin for them to use the next time they get together.

This has helped me. Thank you Michelle. It is nice to know I am not alone in my obsessions.

Cindy

[Cat]

Michelle, I understand.......I've not ever had a real problem with my kids. They have always been good about my crafting supplies and use they wisely and made sure their friends didn't use my better supplies without permission. (I didn't have the paper stash or tools I have now. ) That being said I have sister-in-laws (hubby sisters and my brother's now ex-wife ) that have used my sewing machines, scissors, threads and even needles that made me want to snatch my stuff and run and hide them. I DID FLAT REFUSE to allow them to borrow (take to their house) my Stuff. I swear they could tear up a anvil and didn't even care. I even finally quit sharing by being tooooo busy when brother's ex helped herself to some of my scissors and threads and wouldn't return them. (never did tell my brother about it ) I finally decided we worked toooo hard for the money that was spent on my machines and stuff for them to tear them up without so much as a sorry. I decided some people weren't taught to respect other peoples stuff.

Sorry about my rant......Michelle you know your daughter and her friends.....if your daughter knows you have supplies for certain projects and she respects that.....I would let her use out of your stash but have a stash set aside for her and her friends to use if you are busy and can't supervise. Just make sure she knows where it is and she tells her friends yours is off limits.....because you have plans for it.

Shopping and comparing prices on supplies and tools would have helped my kiddos to understand...we did that with all sorts of items...... even our vacation trips. Twenty-five years ago a pair of name brand tennis shoes with lights in the heels comes to mind.....same name brand shoe without lights $40.00 cheaper.....so we made a deal we would pay what planned on shoes and he would pay the difference. ( age 6....Money he had earned doing extra chores to get) DS decided the lights just weren't worth it.

Michelle, I don't know if any of this helps you but it sure did bring back a lot of memories for me.


Cat

[mulchlady]

I understand completely! I have a 16 year old daughter who thinks she has carte blanche when it comes to using my paper, stickers, pens, tape runners,etc....since she has been able to crawl into my scrap room! She uses it for school projects, art work or just plain fun! I tell her all the time to please ask me before she opens up a brand new package of paper or stickers because I might already have the color paper or sticker that she wants in my scrap stash. But it doesn't seem to work. She just had a school project last week and she opened up a whole package of assorted green papers for one sheet! It is so hard! I don't mind that she wants to use my stash, but why can't she ask first in case I have been holding onto that one piece of paper for a special project. Oh what we have to endure!! I feel your pain!!

[Basketlady]

Thanks for all of your replies! You really helped me decide how to handle this. I want to encourage her, but at the same time, I've spent too much for some of the matchy stuff.

You guys sort of gave me "permission" to keep her out of my stash. I don't want to constantly have her coming to me to ask for CS. I'm guessing she didn't want to do that either, which is why she was asking for CS! And we live in an area where there aren't a lot of limits put on kids. Most are parented with nannies and au pairs and just aren't told "no" by anyone. I just didn't want to deal with the kids getting into my stash and "forgetting" to ask permission. And I didn't want DD to have the burden of trying to rein in her friends. I think that's a hard balance for a kid.

I do have scraps and let her (and her friends) have free range of those scraps. She also has quite a bit of PP from my purges over the years.

I sort of did what Susan suggested. She had a playdate today and I took her to Mike's after the date. I told her that I would give her $12--she could either buy a pack of paper with her 40% off coupon or she could buy individual sheets. (Packs were $20, 40% off of that was $12.) She chose a pk of 100 sheets of CS and we got a paper keeper to organize them in, just like I have.

She's in the studio right now organizing her paper. And I think this is sweet--she's purging her stash of PP and passing it along to a friend who wants to start scrapbooking, along with some decorative scissors and punches that she doesn't use. I like that--she's paying it forward and passing along supplies. This girl is socially awkward and it will really make her feel good to get the supplies!

[luv2scrap]

Feb 27, 2011 19:54:38 GMT -5 Basketlady said:

Thanks for all of your replies! You really helped me decide how to handle this. I want to encourage her, but at the same time, I've spent too much for some of the matchy stuff.

You guys sort of gave me "permission" to keep her out of my stash. I don't want to constantly have her coming to me to ask for CS. I'm guessing she didn't want to do that either, which is why she was asking for CS! And we live in an area where there aren't a lot of limits put on kids. Most are parented with nannies and au pairs and just aren't told "no" by anyone. I just didn't want to deal with the kids getting into my stash and "forgetting" to ask permission. And I didn't want DD to have the burden of trying to rein in her friends. I think that's a hard balance for a kid.

I do have scraps and let her (and her friends) have free range of those scraps. She also has quite a bit of PP from my purges over the years.

I sort of did what Susan suggested. She had a playdate today and I took her to Mike's after the date. I told her that I would give her $12--she could either buy a pack of paper with her 40% off coupon or she could buy individual sheets. (Packs were $20, 40% off of that was $12.) She chose a pk of 100 sheets of CS and we got a paper keeper to organize them in, just like I have.

She's in the studio right now organizing her paper. And I think this is sweet--she's purging her stash of PP and passing it along to a friend who wants to start scrapbooking, along with some decorative scissors and punches that she doesn't use. I like that--she's paying it forward and passing along supplies. This girl is socially awkward and it will really make her feel good to get the supplies!

Sounds like everything was sorted out perfectly! Everyone is happy and she has learned a valuable life lesson. Paying forward is the greatest thing! Plus she has a great Mom teaching her instead of an Nanny or au pair raising her with their values.

[Basketlady]

Thanks! She really is a kind and compassionate girl. Her teachers repeatedly tell me that! My DS has social issues, so she is a bit more compassionate than some. She knows how hard it is for these kids.

[Cat]

Michelle, I knew things would work out. Your daughter has a great teacher......teaching her kindness and compassion.....in you.
Kids learn by example.



Cathy

[Basketlady]

Well, she has her moments. She was downstairs sorting her stuff at bedtime yesterday and didn't want to stop. Darling girl had a bit of a snit fit. Well, she was charming for a few hours...

[craftygirl]

Sounds like it all worked out well. Hooray! And good for DD paying it forward, even if she had a melt-down at bedtime. I love it when kids (well, anybody) pay it forward! I definitely have "my" supplies and "your" supplies. My kids are used to it, and don't seem to mind. It would help your DD, when her friends are over!

[Cat]

Michelle I really think snit fits are the norm especially for girls. I would have worried if mine didn't pull one every once in awhile. But then my kids are strong willed....we sorta encouraged it......because of the peer pressure and drugs that was so bad in our area when they were in school....we wanted them to be able to stand up for themselves yet be respectful of rules. A very fine line.....at times I thought we would topple off.

Encouraging them to think for themselves yet listen to us.......not a easy task Fingers crossed and prayers you have a easier time walking that line.


Cat

[Basketlady]

Well, she was as nice as pie to me tonight. I guess she realized she was being a little snot! She even offered to make dinner. I'm guessing she just didn't want her germ-ridden mama touching her food! (I have a sinus thing.)

And FTR--she can make some things. But probably not an entire dinner! Unless it's Ramen and PB & J!

[Cat]

Michelle, I'm sorry to hear you have a sinus infection. I'm so thankful you are not in our area.
Yesterday we had a sandstorm....36 hrs of 58 mph plus winds and dirt; grass fires burning 121,000 acres and 70 homes and some are still burning out of control. Between the dirt and smoke your sinuses will be burning even without an infection.
Your daughter sound like a very smart girl....she realized she was in the wrong and wanted to make it up to you.

Feel better soon!
Hugs & Prayers
Cat

[vicki7]

Hope you feel better real soon Michelle!
Vicki

[Dani]

this threads reminds me of the day I brought my daughter to work because she was bored at home and while I was packing she worked her way to the paper section, grabbed a nice pack of AC 5x7 cardstock and happily did her "artwork". She loves to color and stuff so then her eyes settled on the copics rack.... thats when I started to get nervous

She hasnt been to work since lol

[AnnaMatrix]

Dunno, Dani, maybe you'll have to train her to fill orders after Rose delivers! Sounds like she inherited the artistic talent from her parents! Gail

[Dani]

Sounds like she inherited the artistic talent from her parents! Gail

For sure not. Her parents are NOT artistic

[Basketlady]

Dani, that story is so sweet! Best of all, her artwork will be perfectly preserved on acid free paper!

But keep her out of the Copics! That stuff is permanent and kids LOVE to draw with permanent ink. Those memories last forever--on the furniture, on the walls...

[AnnaMatrix]

Good one, Michelle!!!
Dani, I thought Rose was a scrapper?? How did you get into this business without some artsy/craftsy inclination? Gail

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2011 16:13:45 GMT -5 AnnaMatrix said:

...How did you get into this business without some artsy/craftsy inclination? Gail

I think I recall that Dani's parents own a craft business.

[AnnaMatrix]

They do, Diane. Thanks for reminding me! Gail